The Stories We Tell

Hello there,

It appears to be spring. It’s been such a pleasure to notice the changes unfold down here in Massachusetts (no matter what, my center point will always be Maine). There are daffodils bravely holding court against the wild wind and rain, and little birds flitting around with the makings for their nests. It’s a reminder that change is inevitable in all of us, and all around us. Funny how we insist on being stuck, and yet the seasons and rotation of the earth insist that we never can be. We too, revolve and relate to what is happening around us.

I often tell myself the story that I’m not doing enough. My sister once said to me “you don’t want it enough.” And it always stuck with me. Want what? The music industry? Fame? Success? Opportunity? We are often faced with “it”, and our failure to obtain it, but like many of our best stories disparaging ourselves, they are often deeply flawed with vagueness.

I am now 40 and '“it” has changed for me. All I really wanted was to be able to sing. The internet allows me to do that from the comfort of my own home. It’s not the same as a live show, but when my goal was really just to sing and write for the love of singing in a safe space, then the last few years have provided that for me. “It” also meant making money from my music. While gigging is part of that equation, I have made more money licensing my music and teaching than I ever have performing.

This spring I’m untangling the various strings associated with my various stories. Instead of a vague fluff ball of desire, I’m separating them out and examining what it is that I actually want in this decade of my life. The good thing about growing older is that you get more data. I’ve been in the creative world for a long time. I have a batch of songs I am putting together for a new project I care a lot about. Do I ask the community to fund it? Do I apply to grants? But most importantly, what is the story I must share with my community to best communicate to you what I’m trying to do? I can’t afford to be vague. It means too much to me.

I’m thinking on this as we close out March. Do you have any stories that need some untangling this spring?